Glimmer In The Dark

by Anna Gutmanis

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about

At a cursory listen, the songs on this album may seem very eclectic, ranging from bluesy rock to Caribbean rhythms and even a touch of gospel. Those of you with sensitivity to nuance and a spirit of adventure may be able to detect the subtle narrative that conjoins these pieces. The opening song and most recent composition, "First In Love", celebrates the present and begins a long and personal journey back to Anna's earliest days of songwriting. "Glimmer In The Dark" invokes the muse that inspired this song over 25 years ago. Like "The Rain", written while she was still a teenager, it speaks of a quest of inspiration, of meaning in a world of loss, and of the search for self-identity that all fuse in "I Am Who I Am", the anthemic bonus track. While "Hello Again" romanticizes the absent friend, songs such as "When I Get Out Of Bed" and "Middle Of The Line" confront the unpopular realities of middle age, of family pressures, of utter exhaustion. These songs reflect her days of social-worker burnout, compassion fatigue, and the unsentimental side of motherhood: being caught in the middle of working overnight shifts, raising teenagers, and watching her own mother slowly vanish in long-term care. It is a legacy of Alzheimer's and other incomprehensible estrangements. But she shares realism, not pessimism. "This Love Is Real To Me" revels in the joys of anti-cosmetic honesty. Longstanding love, intimacy, creativity, and even idealism dare to thrive, despite the ordinary torments and commonplace disapprovals of conformist culture. The harmonies and rhythms of social justice songs, including "People (Got To Get It Together)" and "Another Way Out" may inspire an activist voice in all of us who remain unfulfilled by the status quo and troubled by the oppressions of others. At the same time, we all need to relax and allow time for pleasure: the promise of a new relationship in "You Won't Be Sorry" anticipates the vibe of "In The Sun", a tune that brings us the beach vacation -- perhaps even a hot honeymoon! There are surprises along the way. If you listen carefully, you will hear the little black cat tiptoeing along with the muse in "Glimmer" before his a cappella solo, "The Voice Of Bliss". The journey is not always linear, and these are songs to return to not only in the cold of a Canadian winter, but at times when our spirits need warmth and comfort. I hope that you enjoy this journey with us.
- Georgia Wilder

credits

released July 3, 2012

Music, Lyrics and Arrangements by Anna Gutmanis
Additional Arrangements by Karen Kane and Wayne DeAdder
“The Voice of Bliss” composed and performed by Bliss the Cat

Produced and Engineered by Karen Kane at Chalet Studio, Claremont ON
Assistant Engineer: Anthony Giglio

Mixed by Dajaun Martineau and Karen Kane at Phase One Audio Group, Toronto ON
Assistant Engineer: Anthony Giglio

Mastered by Mike Smith at Phase One Audio Group, Toronto ON
Assistant Engineer: Matt Snell

CD Design by Tracey Dey
Cover and other photography by Kelly Hurren

Musicians:
Anna Gutmanis – lead vocals, keyboard
Wayne DeAdder – guitar, bass
Dan Neill – drums, shaker
Karen Dinardo – background vocals, shared lead vocal on “First In Love”
Colleen Allen – alto saxophone, soprano saxophone, tenor saxophone
Roly Platt – harmonica
Alyssa Wright – cello
Terry Nash – organ
Dajaun Martineau – additional percussion section on “People (Got To Get It Together)”
Georgia Wilder – rain stick on “The Rain”
Bliss the Cat – meows

Bonus Track “I Am Who I Am” produced and engineered by Karen Kane at Audio Genesis, Wilmington NC, 2007. Additional recording and mixing by Karen Kane at The North Bend Room. Mastered at João Carvalho Mastering, Toronto ON. Musicians: Anna Gutmanis on keyboards and vocals, Tony Mallard on drums, Danny Pera on bass, Steve Horrell on guitar, and Donnie White on additional keyboards.

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about

Anna Gutmanis Toronto, Ontario

Anna Gutmanis, an award-winning Canadian singer-songwriter, entwines her brave, edgy lyrics with deep, blues-style vocals. Her songs have charted on iTunes, The Independent Music Network Top 30, Roots Music Report Top 100 of 2014, OutVoice, and 3 different Australian Indie charts (World Independent, Easy Listening and Urban). Her award-winning single I Am Who I Am will be featured at Euro Pride. ... more

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Track Name: First In Love
First In Love

It seems not very long ago
That we went for a drink and show
That show turned out to be at my place
Didn’t it baby
I fell softly for you that night
It was more than a quick delight
Who knew that twenty years after
We’d still be in love and laughter

(Chorus)
Tell me all of the things you said
When we were first in love
Tell me all that was in your head
When we were first in love

We’ve had so many ups and downs
We’ve had so many smiles and frowns
These years have put many lines on my face
Haven’t they baby
If I knew then what I know now
I’d still go for you anyhow
On this sweet night in November
We dream ahead and we remember

(Chorus)
(Instrumental)
(Chorus)

©2010 Anna Gutmanis/Ban-Anna Music (SOCAN)
Track Name: Glimmer In The Dark
Glimmer In The Dark

The woman you see standing here is solitary
Of those who try to move in closer she is wary
She followed where the melody led
And with a muse in love she is wed
So no one gonna know what’s on her mind or in her soul

(Chorus)
You are always giving me a glimmer in the dark
Just when I’m afraid to see you make my eyes so sharp

While they smile you give me sadness
While they pine you give me gladness
I can never be alone and so I stand apart

The passion came while she was growing in a small town
When she could see the ones beside her were gonna fall on down down down
Well her and them had nothing to say
When she left you know she left it that way
‘Cause no one pays attention to the bell except when it tolls

(Chorus)
(Instrumental)

And so I’ll have my friends and I will have my lovers
And I will spend a bit of time with many many many others
But I am never gonna refuse
A visit from my beautiful muse
And no one gonna captivate the woman that she stole

(Chorus)

You are always giving me a glimmer in the dark

©1983 Anna Gutmanis/Ban-Anna Music (SOCAN)
Track Name: People (Got To Get It Together)
People (Got to Get it Together)

People got to get it together
I know that we’re gonna see the light

(Chorus 1)
People got to get it together
People got to fight
People got to get it together
Man we’ve got to see the light

We’ve been told that we are living in a great democracy
And we’ve been told we have the right to get together peacefully
But all these cops and water cannons are the only thing I see
And oh my god they’re going to shoot us
If we don’t just let them loot us

(Chorus 1)
(Chorus 2)
People got to get it together
People got to know
Mr. Man ain’t gonna protect you
He is gonna let us go

When did we become a nation where the rich abuse the poor
And when did we become a nation that is so in love with war
And when did caring for the earth become an antiquated chore
It ain’t too late to change direction
Reclaim all our love and affection

(Instrumental)
(Chorus 1)
(Chorus 2)

©2010 Anna Gutmanis/Ban-Anna Music (SOCAN)
Track Name: Hello Again
Hello Again

We were younger, we had the hunger
That was way back then
I left town but now I’m around
And so hello again

I’ll be leaving sure as you’re breathing
On that morning train
‘Til I do this song is for you
And so hello again

Though it seems like a crime that I don’t have the time
To write you or give you a call
I am always aware of the bond that we share
‘Cause time doesn’t change you at all my lady

I may wander way over yonder
Through the sun, through the rain
Still I find you’re one of a kind
And so hello again

Though it seems like a crime that I don’t have the time
To write you or give you a call
I am always aware of the bond that we share
‘Cause time doesn’t change you at all my lady

I may wander way over yonder
Through the sun, through the rain
Still I find you’re one of a kind
And so hello again

©1988 Anna Gutmanis/Ban-Anna Music (SOCAN)
Track Name: You Won't Be Sorry
You Won’t Be Sorry

So your love affair was not so nice and I must entice
But you won’t be sorry
Now you’re taking all the good advice and you’re thinking twice
But you won’t be sorry

I won’t break your heart in the morning
I won’t leave without any warning
Give me a chance to give you love and affection
When the world is closing in on you
When you think a curse is upon you
I’ll be around to give you love and protection

We’re in love and that is how we’ll stay, caring day by day
And you won’t be sorry
We will be together come what may, I can truly say
That you won’t be sorry

I won’t break your heart in the morning
I won’t leave without any warning
Give me a chance to give you love and affection
When the world is closing in on you
When you think a curse is upon you
I’ll be around to give you love and protection

(Instrumental)

Oh we’re in love and that is how we’ll stay
I can truly say
That you won’t be sorry
And you won’t be sorry

©1988 Anna Gutmanis/Ban-Anna Music (SOCAN)
Track Name: Another Way Out
Another Way Out

My school is really like a battle zone
But when you’re queer you walk the halls alone
Nobody brave enough to be my friend
And the slings and arrows are never ending
I’ve been assaulted in the parking lot
And now they’re saying that I should be shot
This morning I just want to stay in bed
‘Cause the pressure has gone to my head

(Chorus)
I’m looking for another way out
I’m looking for another way out

I told a teacher what I’m going through
He said there’s nothing he can really do
He told me all about the sins of man
And to get with my god if I can

(Chorus)

Now my daddy has a dear kid
Doesn’t have a queer kid
If he had a queer kid, man I could say my goodbye
I’ve got nobody I can turn to now
I’m tired of living these lies

(Instrumental)
(Chorus)

©2008 Anna Gutmanis/Ban-Anna Music (SOCAN)
Track Name: This Love Is Real To Me
This Love Is Real To Me

We may not be the picture of youth and glamour
Sometimes we’re more like a nail and hammer
Sometimes we don’t have a lot of talkin’ to do
Ain’t it true
We get up, go to work, and we come home tired
It can be hard to remain inspired
Still I can say every single day that I want to be with you

(Chorus)
This love is real to me
What I feel and hear and what I see
This love is real to me
And it’s better than a fantasy

Now it’s so many years since I first embraced you
Still what I know is my heart has stayed true
Being together is unbelievably fine
So divine
And I marvel at all you and I have been through
And at the places that we have been to
Nobody else knows me half as well and I know that you are mine

(Chorus)
(Instrumental)
(Chorus)

©2009 Anna Gutmanis/Ban-Anna Music (SOCAN)
Track Name: When I Get Out Of Bed
When I Get Out of Bed

(Chorus 1)
Maybe I’ll feel better when I get out of bed
When I get out of bed sometime today
Maybe I’ll feel better when I get out of bed
When I get out of bed sometime today

(Chorus 2)
Maybe I’ll feel better if I’m not left for dead
And if I put on my head sometime, someway
Maybe I’ll feel better when I get out of bed
When I get out of bed sometime today

I tried to do what needed to be done
I set the bar impossibly high
I should have known that it wouldn’t be fun
And now I’m so weary that I can’t begin to cry

(Chorus 1)

I ought to throw some clothes on my body
I ought to comb my hair into place
But everything looks terribly shoddy
There’s so much around me that I can’t begin to face

(Instrumental)

I’m gonna go and slay me a dragon
I’ll write a song that everyone hears
But now my whole damn body is saggin’
And as for my mind, I’m gonna wait until it clears

(Chorus 1)
(Chorus 1)

©2009 Anna Gutmanis/Ban-Anna Music (SOCAN)
Track Name: The Rain
The Rain

The day’s overcast, it’s just like the last
And the winter is seeping in slow
There’s something inside keeps a telling her she’s got to go
She ain’t gonna hide when she’s walking outside
And the wind starts its dancing again
Oh why should she fight
It’s just right for her day in the rain

Remembers a park in the drizzling dark
Where some wonderful stories were told
Hey under that isle they once buried a treasure of gold
And maybe some day when the sky ain’t so grey
We’ll go down to see what we can gain
With thoughts of the find on their minds
They walked home in the rain

(Chorus)
And the rain o fills me with beautiful pain o
Never leaves nothing the same o
Colouring all that I do
Can you say why it doesn’t matter how I try
When it falls down I know I’ll fly
To find that there’s something that’s true

The people she meets when she’s walking the streets
Are all trying to get out of there fast
They don’t like the rain and they’re hoping it’s not gonna last
Umbrellas held high and the look in their eye
Says that girl’s looking pretty dragged down
She ponders their loss as she crosses the street into town

She thinks of that time she was hoping so blind
For a saviour to come to her side
O mama I say he’ll come back and you know I don’t lie
I never never lie
Then came the day when they took him away
And she knew she would go it alone
And the rain falling down on the window was cold as a stone

(Instrumental)
(Chorus)

©1980 Anna Gutmanis/Ban-Anna Music (SOCAN)
Track Name: Middle Of The Line
Middle of The Line

Looking for meaning, looking for work
Cooking and cleaning, dealing with jerks
Nearing the middle years of my life
I’m more than mother and wife

(Chorus 1)
Call the conductor
This isn’t mine
I’m caught in the middle
Middle of the line
I need to break out
I need to shine
But I’m caught in the middle
Caught in the middle of the line

Mom needs compassion, so do the kids
I learn to ration ‘cause I can’t flip my lid
All that I give is never enough
The times are horribly tough

(Chorus 2)
Call the conductor
This isn’t mine
I’m caught in the middle
Middle of the line
My destination ain’t on that sign
I’m caught in the middle
Caught in the middle of the line

Here at my window I see a land of rolling hills
And wandering waves
It’s such a sin though to travel through it
To a land of masters and weary slaves

(Instrumental)
(Chorus 2)

©2001 Anna Gutmanis/Ban-Anna Music (SOCAN)
Track Name: In The Sun
In The Sun

Step into the wicket
Buy myself a ticket
Wishing it was one-way
Heaven knows I’ll want to stay
Say goodbye to pressure
Say hello to leisure
Now I’m off and running
To my hard-earned southern fling

(Chorus)
In the sun you can play ‘til you’re done
And when you’re hotter water’s waiting for you
In the sun we can melt into one
Here on vacation, stationed, nothing to do

Now I see the palm trees
Now I feel the cool breeze
I could really live here
If I shift into a lower gear
This is so relaxing
It’s never ever taxing
And I feel so lazy
That’s the way I like to be

(Chorus)
(Instrumental)
(Chorus)

©1989 Anna Gutmanis/Ban-Anna Music (SOCAN)
Track Name: I Am Who I Am
I Am Who I Am

I'm out, I'm proud
I've done the things I vowed
Nobody gonna take away my freedom
If you believe
My friends and I should leave
You're gonna have to fight us everyone

(Chorus)
I am who I am, no matter what you say to me
I am who I am, no matter what you do
I am who I am, no matter what you take from me
To myself I will be true

You call me ill
My kind you want to kill
And then you sing of heaven’s love on Sunday
But I can see through your hypocrisy
It’s hatred of yourself that you betray

(Chorus)
(Instrumental)

You took from me
A sense of history
I grew up learnin' how to hide my secret
But now I've found
My people all around
And you will find you ain't seen nothin' yet

(Chorus)

©2003 Anna Gutmanis/Ban-Anna Music (SOCAN)